A beast in his lair
Flatmate from hell
In a pit of despair
No way to dispel
Stranger beware
A beast in his lair

It started out well
No obvious flaw
How to then tell
The change we saw
An exercise freak
With pallid skin
That hid the deceit
To what lay within

Up at dawn
Bed at dusk
Repeat day on day
A peculiar spawn
Converses robotic
Emotionally withdrawn
And a touch psychotic

A beast in his lair
He does not care
For social calls
To that pit of despair
A vacuous soul
With human hair
The beast in his lair

A dirtaholic
And a timid mouse
Never lifted a bollock
To clean the house
Our friends don't believe 
He really exists
But until he leaves
The odour persists

Up at dawn
Bed at dusk
Repeat day on day
Lurks in the kitchen
Kicks up a stink
As he feasts on his prey
It makes me think
I can't stay

A beast in his lair
Impending doom
From the pit of despair
It's the full moon
Stranger beware
A beast in his lair

By Murray